Reverence and Respect

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Respect and Reverence, by Margaret S. Lifferth
First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency


Facing a growing concern that our children were requesting to watch things on the television too frequently, my wife and I moved our one TV to our bedroom. We hoped that having it out of sight would help it to be out of mind. In its place, we now have a large bookshelf, from which we spend a great deal of time reading books together. However, lately the children have been requesting to watch movies more and more—it probably has much to do with not being as able to play outside because of the Texas heat.

Despite our media vigilance, we still observe behaviors and actions that run contrary to our desires. Now that we can't blame media as readily, I'm left wondering where my usually incredibly-sweet and well-behaved children pick these things up. (I don't even have the luxury of blaming other children because our extra-familial social interactions are limited.) Fortunately (and unfortunately), as I listened to Sister Lifferth's talk, I isolated the most probable source: ME!

We've tried to teach our children to have respect for others and reverence for holy things. On this topic, Sister Lifferth taught:

...Our ability and our credibility to exemplify reverence for God is strengthened as we show respect for each other. In today’s society, the standards of decorum, dignity, and courtesy are assailed on every side and in every form of media. As parents and leaders, our examples of respect for each other are critical for our youth and children because they are watching not only the media—they are watching us! Are we the examples we need to be?

Just yesterday, frustrated, David asked, "Why does everything have to do with sitting in the corner?" He was upset that he had been sent to the corner a few times since I had come home, as a result of his actions. To him, it seemed that everything he did resulted in an undesirable punishment.

As I consider what Sister Lifferth said, I'm left to wonder if I should send myself to the corner! I'm confident that much of the frustrations that my amazing five-year-old experiences have more to do with his emulating behaviors I've unknowingly shown than conscious decisions to go against what we've said.

I need to change before I start saying, "Do as I say, not as I do!"

Directly following the above quote is a list of self-analysis questions for parents. The one that stings me the most is, "Am I an example of respect in my home by the way I treat those I love the most?"

Please don't think that I'm some sort of monster (I'm usually not!); I've just come to realize that I can do much more to improve.

Assuming that I can do better, what else do I need to do?

...Reverent behavior is not a natural tendency for most children. It is a quality that is taught by parents and leaders through example and training. But remember, if reverence is rooted in love, so is the teaching of it. Harshness in our training begets resentment, not reverence. So begin early and have reasonable expectations. ... It takes time, patience, and consistency.

I take from this that I not only need to do better myself, but I may need to adjust my teaching style—Am I too harsh?—and evaluate my expectations to determine if they are reachable—I want to develop faith and fun, not resentment!

Quoting President Packer, Sister Lifferth taught me that I can change as I work on improving reverence and respect in my life: "While we may not see an immediate, miraculous transformation, as surely as the Lord lives, a quiet one will take place."

I'm excited and hopeful to be a better father, teacher, and friend to my sweet children.

Becoming Provident Providers

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually, by Elder Robert D. Hales
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles


I've noticed a common thread in discussions I've had with friends regarding life and spirituality. In essence, many of my friends will say, "After all I've done, I'm sure I'm going to Hell, so I just don't worry about it anymore." This brand of spiritual apathy concerns me, not simply because I'm confident that my friends aren't "going to Hell," but that it manifests a marked misunderstanding of the doctrines of grace and the Atonement.

Elder Hales taught:

Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). [emphasis added]

I find great comfort in knowing that I am within reach of "Him who is mighty to save" (see 2 Ne 31:19). I noted, though, that we must overcome—knowing that our success comes through Christ:

Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. ... Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond.

Continuing on this theme, I cannot help but see that successive successes sum to significant strength (how's that for alliteration?); this is entirely logical: as we grow and progress, we become more adapted to face future challenges—through a sort of spiritual evolution (I'll have to write more on other types of evolution later). Here is the transition to the main topic of this talk:

What we learn now, in our present circumstances, can bless us and our posterity for generations to come.

This principle is as true when applied to spiritual growth and development as it was to the successes of many children of the depression who later thrived because of the life-lessons developed (and maintained) because of hard times.

I hope to apply this to my little family, temporally, as we face "growing up in times of economic uncertainty," as well as self-application, spiritually, as I encounter challenges, trials, and temptations.

I know that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philip. 4:13).

Welcome to Conference

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Welcome to Conference, by President Thomas S. Monson


I love the summaries that President Monson provides at the start of each conference; I can't help but get excited over what has been accomplished, and what we will be able to do in the future.

While describing the rededication of the Mexico City, Mexico Temple, President Monson mentioned that he and President Eyring were each given a serape and sombrero (shown, in part, below).


As part of the proceedings, President Monson "couldn't resist serenading the group with an impromptu version of 'El Rancho Grande," an old Mexican folk song. Similarly, I can't resist sharing the video of the singing, located at 0:51 in the following video (links: YouTube, KSL):

Although speaking of temple dedications, I think the following quote applies equally well to general conference:

We look forward to these occasions. There is something about a temple dedication which prompts a reevaluation of one’s own performance and a sincere desire to do even better.

I loved participating in conference, and I look forward to recording how I've applied the messages from the conference to my life.

I promise not to sing! ... at least I'll try not to.

Outsourced Civility

Along with the benefits and advantages of our newly purchased van comes a noticeable drawback: It is increasingly difficult for me to be a gentleman.

Our previous van had only the one sliding door, so loading and unloading the family both let me be where the action was. This made it quite easy and natural for me to open and close my wife’s door for her—a small thing, yes, but it made me feel like a knight in shining armor.

Now, however, with two sliding doors, there is confusion (and panic) as I try to help with an extra port of entry. Who know it would be so hard to maintain my standard of civility? The Texas heat adds to the dilemma because I want to get our almost-toddler out of his car seat quickly before he gets too hot, all the while being aware of my wife sitting in the same situation.

Of course Maryann can open her own door, but after seven years of marriage, the tradition remains. Because of this, I feel like a failure when, out of necessity, she opens the door before I can.

I’m toying with a solution. While there are many things which cannot (and should not) be outsourced, can I outsource civility?

Enter David.

Our five-year-old is an incredibly sweet (and smart and talented) little boy. He’s lately taken great satisfaction in being able to handle the sliding door by himself (which is considerable, in my opinion, seeing as how he’s sub-forty-pounds). Can I train him to be Johnny-on-the-spot with this responsibility? Can I relinquish my long-held role as resident door-opener? Is he up to the task?

I think all three questions share a common answer: Yes! He is already a big helper; training and teaching are big parts of proper fathering; and, he is eager to serve. (As an aside, while sitting on the floor, Maryann recently noted that her back and neck were sore. Before I could put my dinner preparations aside to offer assistance, I saw our little David rush in and start massaging. In addition, he has already taken to helping and serving; he’s reading to Benjamin in this picture.)


Apprenticing courtesy, respect, and loving service.

I love being a father!

We Won!

Seeing as it's been almost a month since the contest (see previous post), I thought I should take a moment to announce that WE WON! Apparently, the online votes were the major contributor to this contest which was a portmanteau of online and in-person voting.

Here's a picture of me accepting the prize—so excited that I held the box backwards (how embarrassing for me!). You can also read more at LizardTech's blog (link).


What did we win, you ask? A Garmin Oregon 400t (link), which was terribly advanced for our needs. We've actually since downgraded to a mobile GPS device and used the surplus funds for other fun outdoorsy things from REI.

Thank you for your help, and watch out for future contests!