Outsourced Civility

Along with the benefits and advantages of our newly purchased van comes a noticeable drawback: It is increasingly difficult for me to be a gentleman.

Our previous van had only the one sliding door, so loading and unloading the family both let me be where the action was. This made it quite easy and natural for me to open and close my wife’s door for her—a small thing, yes, but it made me feel like a knight in shining armor.

Now, however, with two sliding doors, there is confusion (and panic) as I try to help with an extra port of entry. Who know it would be so hard to maintain my standard of civility? The Texas heat adds to the dilemma because I want to get our almost-toddler out of his car seat quickly before he gets too hot, all the while being aware of my wife sitting in the same situation.

Of course Maryann can open her own door, but after seven years of marriage, the tradition remains. Because of this, I feel like a failure when, out of necessity, she opens the door before I can.

I’m toying with a solution. While there are many things which cannot (and should not) be outsourced, can I outsource civility?

Enter David.

Our five-year-old is an incredibly sweet (and smart and talented) little boy. He’s lately taken great satisfaction in being able to handle the sliding door by himself (which is considerable, in my opinion, seeing as how he’s sub-forty-pounds). Can I train him to be Johnny-on-the-spot with this responsibility? Can I relinquish my long-held role as resident door-opener? Is he up to the task?

I think all three questions share a common answer: Yes! He is already a big helper; training and teaching are big parts of proper fathering; and, he is eager to serve. (As an aside, while sitting on the floor, Maryann recently noted that her back and neck were sore. Before I could put my dinner preparations aside to offer assistance, I saw our little David rush in and start massaging. In addition, he has already taken to helping and serving; he’s reading to Benjamin in this picture.)


Apprenticing courtesy, respect, and loving service.

I love being a father!

We Won!

Seeing as it's been almost a month since the contest (see previous post), I thought I should take a moment to announce that WE WON! Apparently, the online votes were the major contributor to this contest which was a portmanteau of online and in-person voting.

Here's a picture of me accepting the prize—so excited that I held the box backwards (how embarrassing for me!). You can also read more at LizardTech's blog (link).


What did we win, you ask? A Garmin Oregon 400t (link), which was terribly advanced for our needs. We've actually since downgraded to a mobile GPS device and used the surplus funds for other fun outdoorsy things from REI.

Thank you for your help, and watch out for future contests!

Lizard Contest

I’m attending a conference in a couple of weeks where one of the vendors is having a competition. I'm looking for friends to help me win their photo contest? (Here's my entry)

3 simple steps to help me win (I’d do the same for you, you know!):

1. Go to the contest page: http://www.lizardtech.com/esri2009/vote.php
2. Mark my picture (on the bottom row)
3. Enter your name, etc. and vote!

You’re done! I appreciate you (and your help),
Clark

P.S.
Feel free to ask any friends, family, or coworkers to vote for me, too!

If you want more information on the contest or conference, use the following:
LizardTech is the company hosting the contest.
The conference is the ESRI Users Conference.

Correlation ≠ Causation

One of the first things students learn in statistics classes is that correlation does not imply causation. In other words, just because two things are related, it does not mean that one caused the other.

Our little Benjamin has been reminding me of this lately. His loving older siblings love to help him be happy—especially David. David is a boy of many silly faces, and he has the knack at getting Benjamin to laugh.


However, after playing their silly face --> laughter --> silly face --> laughter… game for only a short time, Benjamin apparently concludes that his explosions of laughter cause the silly faces, and not vice versa.

As this process progresses, however, the cause (silly faces) becomes, too, a reaction; likewise, the reaction (exploding laughter) becomes a cause. We, as happy spectators, witness a fantastic positive feedback loop where our two boys go back and forth with laughter and silly faces, with each progressive round being more joyful and happy than the last: a sort of perpetual motion machine (we’ve nearly got it!).

Their fun game continues for some time until both collapse in a heap of wiggling giggles.

It really is fun to watch.

On a not-as-funny note, I’ve been suffering from terrible allergies. This season, I’m hearing many proclaim the virtues of local honey on allergy relief. I’m presently struggling with understanding exactly how the whole process is supposed to help, but I bought some local honey anyway (mostly for my poor wife who can’t take antihistamines).

Because my allergy symptoms vary in intensity (pain) considerably from day to day, it’s difficult for me to ascribe causation to any particular treatment—let alone correlation.

Well, even if the local honey doesn’t “cure” allergies, at least it tastes good.

My thoughts on correlation and causation pop up in other areas of life, too. I’ve noticed that when I’m having a hard time with something, I blame myself. On the other hand, when things are going really well, I express thanks to God. When I do this, I place implied causation for bad things on myself, and implied causation for successes on God. (I guess it’s not nearly as bad as the opposite!)

What I hope to take away from this observation is that I need to trust in the Lord more (see Prov. 3:5-6)—to turn to him in good times and bad, and not simply to recognize His hand in my life in good times; I want to notice His love when times are hard, too.

President Eyring shared his thoughts on this process in his talk, “O Remember, Remember” (link to article), and parts are shown in this short video clip:

Supermom

Our family was recently hit by a fast-moving sickness. One minute you were fine, the next you were ill, and then an hour later, you are fine again.

David was the first victim. He became ill near dinner, got sick (threw up), and went to bed about an hour later right as rain. I, similarly, followed the same cycle a few days later in the afternoon. But poor Maryann got hit in the night.

Nighttime is the worst time to get sick. It’s dark, you’re tired, and the silence of the night makes every disgusting sickness-related noise you make seem ten times as loud as in the day.

Maryann was being a wonderful mother, feeding our little Benjamin in the middle of the night, when the sickness hit her. I awoke to her running through our bedroom towards the bathroom. After a few minutes of being sick, she wiped her mouth and returned to finish feeding Benjamin.

While her return trip wasn’t nearly as fast, nor were her knees as solid, it was at that moment that I was reminded that I live with Supermom! (Supermaryann just doesn’t have the same marketable ring to it.)


Sure, I know she does super things, but there is a distinct difference doing super things and being super (read: being Supermom); this is another practical example of the difference between “do” and “be” (link to previous post here).

I asked myself, “Self, would you have what it takes to do what she did?” I’m not sure if I would, but the question was flawed. I should have asked, “Self, are you the type of person that she is?”

Can you see the difference?

I can, and I’m grateful that I have a superhero in my home. Not only does my sweet wife do great things, but more importantly, she is great.

I'm grateful for the reminders that I come upon each day (like this one) which remind me to not only do more, but be better. I'm grateful for Chirst who makes lasting, meaningful change possible; He did/does great things, but more importantly, He is great.