How to Obtain Revelation

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for Your Personal Life, by Richard G. Scott
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles



Who doesn't enjoy a laugh every now and again? I know I do!

A colleague and I were discussing some of fun benefits of living in Florida this morning. I mentioned this picture of alligators featuring an interesting sign:

The picture is funny because of how absurd it seems! It depicts a potential situation where caution would definitely be needed. (And I might prefer going against a vehicle instead of a pack of gators!)

Speaking of humor and caution, in his talk on receiving revelation, Elder Scott counseled:

Be cautious with humor. Loud, inappropriate laughter will offend the Spirit. A good sense of humor helps revelation; loud laughter does not. A sense of humor is an escape valve for the pressures of life.

My wife visited a dental specialist lately and was amused by one question: Do you have a stressful life?

Her reply: I have four children, what do you think?

This reminds me of a talk by Elder Andersen: link

(NOTE: I wasn't there, so I don't know exactly what her response was, but I think she would have said something like this.)

Returning to Elder Scott's advice: I'm not sure I've ever thought of humor being related to revelation. If it is, I hope I'm not in the "loud, inappropriate laughter" camp!

I guess it makes sense, though. If our lives are full of stress, we may not 1) make time to seek revelation, or 2) be able to hear/feel any guidance over stress-induced high blood pressure. In stressful times, the "escape valve for the pressures of life" that humor provides is appreciated.

I admit that this post isn't shaping up to be a barrel of laughs, so I'm apparently not much help if you're having a stress-filled time right now, so I'll wrap this up so you can seek appropriate humor elsewhere: The next time I'm stressing over a situation where I desire divine guidance, after reading the scriptures, pondering, and praying, I'll think I'll ask my children if they know any good jokes.

After all, I have four children. And if life is sometimes stressful because of them, they are good for a laugh! (Here's a post that has pictures of them being altogether cute: link)

In Tune with the Music of Faith

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

In Tune with the Music of Faith, by Quentin L. Cook
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles



With young children, it seems that you're either trying to convince them to tell the truth, or to not be so honest with others. Most situations involving the first (to tell the truth) have to do with the child not wanting to get in trouble and fabricating a story to get out of something. Situations for the second (to not be so honest) are a different flavor altogether.

As I sat in front of a nine-yr-old girl in Church on Sunday, she leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "You know you're going bald, right?"

Thanks.

My wife and I think that this girl likes to try to get a reaction from people by making over-the-top "honest" comments. She probably wasn't satisfied with my response, though: "I know; isn't it great! I often wish all my hair would just fall out so I could be beautifully bald!"

My six-yr-old daughter is starting to learn that she doesn't always have to say whatever she's thinking, however honest it is. Some time ago, after I finished working in the yard, she found me without a shirt on. Her honest question was, "Daddy, why does your tummy jiggle so much when you walk?"

Sensing no guile, I answered honestly, "Probably because I'm fat."

Keeping up the honest theme, I recall her reply, "Yeah, you're fat and Mommy isn't."

I'm forgiving.

I say that she's learning to temper her honest comments because yesterday I was again without a shirt after doing yard work. Remembering our previous conversation, I apologized to her that she had to see her fat Daddy walking around. Her reply, "Daddy, you're not fat!" (NOTE: Yes I am.)

I smiled at her polite political response, but smiled even more when her four-yr-old brother chimed in, "Daddy, you are fat!"

Good thing some of us fat guys are known for being jolly. (If only I had a troupe of elves to help around the house/workshop.)

Children can be brutally honest. Which takes me to Elder Cook's talk.

When, as a family, we watched Elder Cook speak in conference, a combination of the lighting, the video feed, and the natural terrain of his scalp made for an ... interesting sight. Right after I noticed this, my daughter let us know she noticed too: "His head is bumpy!"

Coincidentally, this was right before Elder Cook said:

Remember, it is not up to us to judge.

I hope it's okay to notice that someone's head looks bumpy, so long as you don't judge them because of it. What do you think?

We have a few other funny stories of our sweet, honest daughter making sweet, honest comments to others (who may not have taken her words as sweet at all!), but we've tried to lovingly teach our children that it's good to be honest, but it's also good to not hurt others' feelings. I suppose we could pounce on our children when they make mistakes and blow things way out of proportion (I'm sure we do do this sometimes—and no, I didn't just say doodoo). In fact, Elder Cook said something about this as well (I emphasized one part):

Our great desire is to raise our children in truth and righteousness. One principle that will help us accomplish this is to avoid being overly judgmental about conduct that is foolish or unwise but not sinful. . . it [is] important to distinguish between youthful mistakes which should be corrected and sins that require chastening and repentance. Where there is lack of wisdom, our children need instruction. Where there is sin, repentance is essential.

I think we're doing well, but there I'm sure I have room for improvement. As I try to teach my children in "truth and righteousness," I need to remember to be an example. Elder Cook reminds:

Example is particularly important. What we are speaks so loudly that our children may not hear what we say.

Parenthood can be great fun with honest children, even with too-honest children. I want to live so that who I am coincides with what I'm trying to say, so my children want to listen.

Because, after all, I'm listening to them. And I'm also listening to all the funny things they say when they're being honest!

Abide in the Lord’s Territory!

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Abide in the Lord’s Territory!, by Ulisses Soares
Of the Seventy



Misunderstanding leads to interesting situations.

I teach a class of nine-yr-olds at church, and had an interesting conversation that involved misunderstanding:

Student: "Can I go get a drink, or use the bathroom?"

Me: "Well, which one is it?" (Meaning water fountain or restroom)

Student: "Number one. Well, actually number two. Maybe both."

Me: "I was talking about... never mind. Yes, go!"

We watched a short church video clip last night that showed someone misunderstanding a scripture, thinking she was being called an "enemy to God" (see Mosiah 3:19). While she ultimately came to understand what the scripture was teaching and how the Atonement works, there was a time when she felt hurt, alone, and probably wanted to quit. On a smaller scale, I experienced some misunderstanding while reading a quote from Elder Soares talk today (it's longer than a short quote):

President George Albert Smith, repeating counsel from his grandfather, once said: “There is a line of demarcation well defined between the Lord’s territory and the devil’s territory. If you will stay on the Lord’s side of the line you will be under his influence and will have no desire to do wrong; but if you cross to the devil’s side of that line one inch you are in the tempter’s power and if he is successful, you will not be able to think or even reason properly because you will have lost the Spirit of the Lord.”

After reading the quote, I thought, "Oh great, I spend a lot of time in the devil's territory! I thought I would be on the Lord's side of the line."

My misunderstanding was with a single word: desire.

When I first read the quote, I thought: temptation. My faulty conclusion was that because I'm tempted to do wrong—even after years of trying to choose the right—then I must be on the devil's side of the line.

It wasn't long until questioning myself led me to re-read the quote and I started feeling better about myself, but I admit that I was worried for a few moments!

Elder Soares began and ended his remarks with a quote from President Monson that even I didn't get confused by:

You can’t be right by doing wrong; you can’t be wrong by doing right.

That sounds like the sort of thing that would look good hanging on a wall.

That sounds even more like a good way to live to stay on the Lord's side of the line!

Faith, Fortitude, Fulfillment

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Faith, Fortitude, Fulfillment: A Message to Single Parents, by David S. Baxter
Of the Seventy



I won the lottery! The genetic and social lottery, that is. I enjoy blessings that I imagine the majority of humankind have not had with when I live, where I live, and the opportunities that are mine.

Despite my great luck, I still struggle with many things—including parenthood.

It feels like my wife and I are in the minority nowadays in that both of our sets of parents are [seemingly] happily married. Furthermore, we've been happily married to each other for more than a decade (notice I didn't include the "seemingly" because I know we're happy!).

But there are others who aren't so lucky.

Elder Baxter addressed his remarks to single parents, primarily single mothers (single fathers got all of three sentences at the end). Despite not wholly in the intended audience, I was moved by a few of the things he taught.

I mentioned that I still struggle with many things. I especially liked the part I italicized and the closing quote about numbers (I pretend to be good with numbers).

Although you may at times have asked, why me? it is through the hardships of life that we grow toward godhood as our character is shaped in the crucible of affliction, as the events of life take place while God respects the agency of man. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell commented, we cannot do all the sums or make it all add up because “we do not have all the numbers.”

As the busy-ness of the day winds down at night, I often wonder where all the time went. As I review on the day, I seem to always feel disappointed by one mistake or another. While I no longer dream of going back in time to correct these wrongs as I once did, I do agonize over repeated offenses—things that continue to bother me about me. Here's a nice reminder from this talk that stuck out to me:

You are striving to raise your children in righteousness and truth, knowing that while you cannot change the past, you can shape the future.

It's true that I do know that I can shape the future, I just sometimes wish I didn't have such a collection of failed attempts of the past that I can use to motivate me to be better.

Okay; you may be thinking, "He sure is down on himself for being a self-proclaimed lottery winner." My self-pity session is almost over. Please endure one more [long] quote before I try to patch everything up:

President Gordon B. Hinckley related an experience shared by a divorced single mother of seven children then ranging in ages from 7 to 16. She had gone across the street to deliver something to a neighbor. She said:

"As I turned around to walk back home, I could see my house lighted up. I could hear echoes of my children as I had walked out of the door a few minutes earlier. They were saying: ‘Mom, what are we going to have for dinner?’ ‘Can you take me to the library?’ ‘I have to get some poster paper tonight.’ Tired and weary, I looked at that house and saw the light on in each of the rooms. I thought of all of those children who were home waiting for me to come and meet their needs. My burdens felt heavier than I could bear.
I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, 'Dear Father, I just can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I can’t face it. I can’t go home and take care of all those children alone. Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? . . .'
"
I didn’t really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind. The answer was: 'No, little one, you can’t come to me now. . . . But I can come to you.'

I took the meaning of Elder Baxter's talk as being to lift and support those who truly are and feel alone in their parental strivings. While I have an amazing [and beautiful] wife who does so much for me and our family, I do sometimes feel alone—mostly because of my own personal mistakes.

The next time I feel alone and am struggling with my persistent faults and want so much to take a break from it all—to return Home for a spell—I hope I can remember the character-shaping crucible of affliction, that I can shape the future by remembering yesterday's [and today's] pain, and that my loving Father longs to come to me.

Remembering this, I'll feel like I won the lottery all over again!

...the spiritual lottery.

Coming to Ourselves

This entry is part of my general conference application series.

Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service, by Robert D. Hales
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles



I had a hard time in sacrament meeting yesterday. The beginning of the end was when the bread tray arrived.

I tried to help my three-yr-old prepare for the sacrament by reminding him to touch only one piece of bread, and to eat the one he touched. You see, he frequently chooses a piece of bread, starts to pick it up, sees another piece he wants, drops the first to grab the second, etc. (repeating any number of times until he finds just the right piece—likely the biggest).

NOTE: consider the following two things in his defense: 1.) the bread pieces are torn larger than usual, and 2.) our ward uses homemade bread that tastes amazing! It's easy to understand why a small child would fall into habits described above.

Well, this time, I withdrew the bread tray and took the first piece he had touched for him. As I passed the tray along, my son refused to eat the bread and even threw it into the aisle.

I don't remember exploding; I think I calmly tried to get him to be reasonable (from my perspective). Regardless, the rest of the meeting seemed to be out of my control.

Elder Hales' talk is titled, "Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service." In it, he advises on how to, like the prodigal son, come to ourselves through enjoying the blessings of the gospel. As I read his words today, I remembered my failed attempt of meaningful sacrament worship yesterday. In fact, I wanted to argue that in order to reach the desired result, the talk shouldn't be "Coming to Ourselves," but "Coming by Ourselves!"

What parent isn't sometimes caught dreaming of having enough time alone to pursue meaningful self-indulgent progress? (At least I hope other parents are sometimes as selfish as I too-often am!)

I've thought about what I can do to have more meaningful sacrament [and other] experiences, and I note that I have room for improvement. But when I'm discouraged and feel like a failure—even a small failure—I wonder if I'm even on the right path!

Here's what Elder Hales had to say about that:

We are on the right path when we can say, "I worthily partake of the sacrament each week, I am worthy to hold a temple recommend and go to the temple, and I sacrifice to serve and bless others."

Having read that, I'm happy to report "I'm trying!"

If I keep trying, before long we might have more peaceful—and quiet—sacrament experiences as a family.

Perhaps then someone will purposely sit behind us on Sunday...